Why Blog?
At the age of 45, I stumbled across the realization that I had Attention Deficit Disorder. It was devastating and liberating all at the same time. With this discovery, a fire has been lit within me to find out all I can about ADD and why it was never recognized in me. It has also sparked a passion to share what I learn to help others that may or may not have ADD, including parents, teachers, employers, care givers, etc. so they can help themselves and others too.
Why Grace Plus Grit?
Grace is a word that has been on my mind for some time. It always evoked images of the aptly named Grace Kelly and of Audrey Hepburn and qualities I imagined them to have, including: effortlessness; kindness; evenness; fluidity; charm; and refinement. Neither was a doormat, but they had a classy, calm, cool assuredness about them that commanded attention. They were not awkward and fit in wherever they were. I wanted to be them.
Instead, I thought of myself more like Barbra Streisand in Funny Girl or Bette Midler in Beaches: clumsy; loud; obnoxious; messy; disorganized; stumbling - but funny, loveable, talented and warm. (And - if I'm being honest - sometimes I was more like Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction?!)
In my on-going self-help addiction quest to define who I was, I decided to choose a "word of the year" as a sort of mantra. The word I chose was Grace. My intention was to focus on what that word meant to me and try to live my life in ways that exemplified Grace - to move about the world with evenness, calm and cool assuredness (and make it look that way too!) Once I learned I likely had ADD, I thought about "handling it with grace" and trying not to over-react. Hence, the "Grace" in the title.
As for the "Grit"- it has long been apparent to me that acting like you have it together only gets you so far (although, people see what they want to see - so it's gotten me to where I am!). Learning why I never felt like a Grace Kelly or an Audrey Hepburn (did they always feel like a Grace or an Audrey?) has been transformative.
However, it is just the beginning of a lot of hard work and a lifelong journey. I'd love to stay in bed with the covers over my head at least two or three days of the week (ok, maybe all seven), but life is happening outside my bedroom and requires me to leave it's cozy confines. Tenacity and "sticktoitiveness" are required - but "Grace and Sticktoitiveness" isn't a great name. Then I had another moment of ADD serendipity (my favorite word by the way - ok, it's tied with onomatopoeia).
As I was reading everything I could get my hands on about ADD, I came across reference to an essay published in 1900. Believe it or not, it's about the four qualities necessary to be an effective preacher. (It's called "Preaching and the Preacher" and starts on page 106.) I have no idea how I ended up finding this particular essay but one of the blessings of hyperfocusing is that you sometimes stumble across something that really has nothing to do with what you were looking for - but yet, has everything to do what you were looking for (aka - serendipity!).
Although I am not a religious person, the essay blew me away. First, because it was still freakishly relevant 115 years later. But more importantly, because the qualities described as necessary to be a good and effective preacher are applicable to being a good and effective person - especially one who has ADD. (Hang in there - I'm getting to the point! - it's hard to summarize 12 hours of reading and research in a paragraph!!!). The four qualities are described below.
Surely for this great work of preaching . . . the [person] fitted into its largest possibilities is the [person] with these four things: God in [their] heart, sand in [their] character, practical wisdom in judgment, and a fire in the bones. Therefore, to grace add grit, and to grit gumption, and to gumption go. (Emphasis added).
Grace is defined in part, as "an interior thing, a divine life in the soul". "But grace is not all. ... so along with grace ... grit...". "Grit is the sand of character." Grit is "backboneward" and what is required for a "steady grind of mental toil ... week in and week out, year in and year out ...". That sure sounded like something I was going to need a whole hell of a lot of if I was going to learn to change how I thought about myself and how I moved about in the world.
"To grace add grit." Grace plus Grit. Grace + Grit. There you have it.
(I really loved the full "grace, grit, gumption and go" but that seemed too long and "Grace Grit and Gumption" was taken but is really charming to read).
